Linda Stasi
What do you get when 85 freeloading freelancers without genuine media affiliations vote for winners in an industry that’s filled with affiliations and worth more than most small countries?
A) A scam; B) The Golden Globes; or C) Jodie Foster.
If you guessed A, you are correct, if you guessed B, you are correct, and if you guessed C, you are as confused as the rest of us.
Last night, for the 70th time, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association held their annual confusing grifter fest, the Golden Globe Awards, filled with Hollywood honchos pretending it was all real, while millions of viewers tuned in pretending to believe those Hollywood honchos believed it was all real.
Get it? Good.
The show was hosted by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for the first time, and if Ricky Gervais hadn’t set the bar so high for the past two years by killing the very hands that fed him — the Golden Globes — they would have seemed better than they did.
But somehow, these two wildly funny women made it all seem tame and, yes, sort of old-fashioned.
Thank God for Jodie Foster. In an industry filled with insane people who make no sense when left to their own devices and, worse, left to their own words, Jodie Foster set the bar lower than ever and managed to stand out as maybe the most confused human ever to hit the Golden Globes stage.
It seemed that in one 75-minute (or maybe five-minute) speech, she said that nothing is more important in the world than privacy and that her sexuality was no one’s business and then promptly came out and quit show business. I think.
But what about Fey and Poehler, who were supposed to be the big story?
Yes, their opening dialogue was funny, but we’re so used to hosts roasting the rich and famous in the audience that it seemed not so fresh. I prefer Gervais’ mean-spirited honesty.
Chances are good the gig is up for Fey and Poehler. I mean, seriously, how could they stand out when Jodie Foster comes out and goes back in, all in one speech? Bottom line? The Globes is either an international conspiracy of dunces or a mass fugue or some sort probably manufactured in China of inferior ingredients and sold at Walmart.
But it still beats the Oscars.
linda.stasi@nypost.com
It’s all jerks, jokes & Jodie Foster
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It’s all jerks, jokes & Jodie Foster
